Pregnancy Post: Experiences of Having a Baby Overseas
I've been meaning to write this one for awhile- there are so many things that I want to be able to remember- so I've been randomly jotting them down as notes in my phone (because you know how forgetful pregnancy mind goes?).
Having a baby overseas...and I will say this is now my second experience...is such a trip! I always have people telling me how brave I am, or what a trooper I am, but I guess I don't really see it as that. I just see this (or Shanghai) as being our home and that's where I need to have the baby- plus other woman do it everyday (it's not as if I'm the first one!). But I will say that it is a totally different escapade- especially when I compare it to my birth with Jack in the States.
I think the main thing that is difference is not having family and friends with you- your so used to having this close knit unit- that's there at a drop of a hat to do anything for you. Not that I haven't had a good support system here in HK or Shanghai, but I think as a woman, you want your family- your Mom and your Dad- to be there as a support for you during this time. So that absence does make the experience a little difficult- I mean, after all, it's a special time in your life, so not sharing that with your loved ones can be tough. However, saying that, I will say that Jason has been my rock and obviously having him with me (through the whole thing) has been truly amazing. It's actually been special in it's way that we have this to share just together.
Another major difference is the culture in general- from outsiders passing you by in the streets, to even your doctors and nurses that care for you. And yes, you may be in an international hospital, but they are STILL Chinese and STILL have their own perception and way of doing things- that are VERY UNLIKE what we are used to in the States.
I mean it's enough in itself that we get stares (because we are foreigners) but then try adding a belly- oh the stares! It's literally as if I'm an unknown alien from another planet. Surprisingly enough though, I don't have too many random people coming up to rub my belly (which is a good thing). And here in HK, they are very polite and I'm usually always offered a seat on the train (no matter how crowded it is).
However, the doctors offices are always a trip. And it's always funny trying to explain to them that yes, I did have an almost 9 lb. baby (one nurse said, "oh, such a big baby, that's okay you have big hips"). And here in Asia they are NOT big on anesthetics. NOT AT ALL. I'm not exactly sure what is going to happen with this lil' one, but with Henry- all I will say is that about 30 minutes after I had my c-section, my body was ON FIRE. Complete burning like I've never experienced and when I asked for pain medication, they gave me tylenol. Really? Thankfully I had a friend that had already mentioned this to me (she worked in the medical field in Shanghai) so I had brought a prescription from my doctor back in the States. Now I'm not a big meds user but when you have a baby, I'd prefer to have it as painless as possible (just my opinion). But that being said- most Chinese don't use anesthetics to have their babies- nothing like what we are used to in the States.
So with that being said, here are some of the funny things that have happened along this pregnancy journey that I don't want to forget:
*3 Words: SMALL CAR SPACES. That should be enough to say- it's incredibly difficult sometimes finding parking spaces here in general and worrying about not hitting the car next to you because the parking spaces are so TINY, but imagine having to get out with a big belly. It's a joke. And there are no saved parking spaces for "Mommies to Be". In fact, at my last appointment, I got the last parking spot and literally had to suck in (is that possible??) as I was getting out. And there was a guy walking by that stopped to stare in wonder as how I was possibly going to do this. Miraculously I made it out.
*NO FILTER. It's incredible sometimes what some people tell you- either in passing or those that you kinda know- but they just say what's on their mind. I had one guy exclaim and say "Oh your so big are you having twins" and this was 2 months ago- I don't even think I was that big then.
And a few weeks ago up at our country club, I had some Chinese man stop me and tell me to be careful walking along the pathway (it was wet). Yes, this was nice and all, and he continues to go into this story about how he always tells his pregnant daughter this, etc., Then he asks me if this is my first, and I reply, "no, it's my 3rd". Hmmmm, his reply was, "Oh gosh, no problem for you, the baby come right out" and as he says this he does his motion with his arms together then splitting. Full demonstration for me about how easily this baby is going to come out. It was creepy and hysterical at the same time. How do you reply to that?
I've also had my helper tell me that the helpers in our complex say that I look so good as a pregnant woman (well now they finally believe it- it took months after my growing belly for them to think I was pregnant- maybe they thought I had been drinking too much beer). They've told her I look so good from behind that you can't tell and that I'm still "sexy". This is funny to me because most women don't say that about other women, but Asians love that word and have no problem describing another woman as "sexy".
*My Massage Guy. And yes, I have found me the most fabulous massage guy. I found him right after Christmas at this spa in Central and trust me, if it didn't take me 45 minutes to get there, I'd probably go more often. He's fabulous though. I'll say I got my feet massaged once a week in Shanghai whilst pregnant with Henry but this guy is the best.
The first time I went in he starts poking on my legs and feeling around on them really weirdly and I'm thinking, oh gosh, what have I gotten myself into now. But by the time he was finished with the first leg, he pulled both of them up together and showed me the difference. Whatever he did, he had literally drained some of the water retention and redness out of my legs. Not to mention it felt amazing. I told Jason after my appointment that I was ready to move him into our house.
So the next time I saw him, he was so funny and cute he said, "Ah I think you look more beautiful than last time". All I could do was laugh. I know what he meant- he was trying to say I had the pregnancy glow, but that's how he interpreted it. I guess some would get upset- what I'm more beautiful today than before, but I know what he meant so that's what made it so cute. But then at this appointment he thought I only had a few weeks to go- and he was shocked when I told him I still had 3 months to go. Again- apparently my belly is huge comparative to Chinese standards!!?!
*Scaring the Locals. That's what Jason likes to say I do because I'm not the typical Chinese that sits at home and doesn't lift anything or takes it easy, I suppose. (and not that all Chinese do this) BUT they do have an entirely different take on how pregnant women should behave, the clothes they should wear and what activities to do and not do.
They do believe that you should cover yourself entirely because you don't want to be cold- even if it is hot and humid out! Do you know the looks I got in early April when I stepped out in a sun dress- most of the locals here were still in sweaters and jeans. Shame shame on me- oh wait, I was dying if I stepped out in the hot sun!
And they do believe that you shouldn't really do too much strenuous activity- especially working out. My bootcamp instructor was so funny because he actually asked one of his classes about me being in bootcamp and one of the Asians in the group said I shouldn't do anything. So you can imagine how I've frightened quite a few of the locals while I've been running in the park or treadmill or taking tennis lessons.
They also believe that pregnant women shouldn't drink cold drinks. Now they believe this in general really (as per why you don't find too many places that serve ice with their drinks) but they believe in a pregnant woman it can be too shocking to our system. So you can see how me walking around in a sun dress with a cold drink is very disappointing and terrible to most around me. Shame shame on me.
I've also enjoyed my first class treatment at some of my grocery stores I go too- after a year or so of visiting now all of a sudden I'm getting curbside service. I think they are terrified of me having a baby right there- although it doesn't help that I bend over in pain sometimes because of my braxton hicks contractions. Again- scaring the locals is what I like to do! :)
So these are some of the tidbits about having a baby overseas that I would like to remember. I'll definitely tell you that you have to have a sense of humor, you have to be trusting in God and you have to have a good support system. It's not always easy and there are a lot of frustrations along the way (as there are living abroad), but in the end, you get this precious baby and that's all it's about anyway. Women have babies everyday- in worse circumstances and environments around the world- I'd say overall it's been pretty surreal to step outside the box and undergo such an adventure.
Now...let's see how this next delivery goes...and then what I have to say about that... :)
Having a baby overseas...and I will say this is now my second experience...is such a trip! I always have people telling me how brave I am, or what a trooper I am, but I guess I don't really see it as that. I just see this (or Shanghai) as being our home and that's where I need to have the baby- plus other woman do it everyday (it's not as if I'm the first one!). But I will say that it is a totally different escapade- especially when I compare it to my birth with Jack in the States.
I think the main thing that is difference is not having family and friends with you- your so used to having this close knit unit- that's there at a drop of a hat to do anything for you. Not that I haven't had a good support system here in HK or Shanghai, but I think as a woman, you want your family- your Mom and your Dad- to be there as a support for you during this time. So that absence does make the experience a little difficult- I mean, after all, it's a special time in your life, so not sharing that with your loved ones can be tough. However, saying that, I will say that Jason has been my rock and obviously having him with me (through the whole thing) has been truly amazing. It's actually been special in it's way that we have this to share just together.
Another major difference is the culture in general- from outsiders passing you by in the streets, to even your doctors and nurses that care for you. And yes, you may be in an international hospital, but they are STILL Chinese and STILL have their own perception and way of doing things- that are VERY UNLIKE what we are used to in the States.
I mean it's enough in itself that we get stares (because we are foreigners) but then try adding a belly- oh the stares! It's literally as if I'm an unknown alien from another planet. Surprisingly enough though, I don't have too many random people coming up to rub my belly (which is a good thing). And here in HK, they are very polite and I'm usually always offered a seat on the train (no matter how crowded it is).
However, the doctors offices are always a trip. And it's always funny trying to explain to them that yes, I did have an almost 9 lb. baby (one nurse said, "oh, such a big baby, that's okay you have big hips"). And here in Asia they are NOT big on anesthetics. NOT AT ALL. I'm not exactly sure what is going to happen with this lil' one, but with Henry- all I will say is that about 30 minutes after I had my c-section, my body was ON FIRE. Complete burning like I've never experienced and when I asked for pain medication, they gave me tylenol. Really? Thankfully I had a friend that had already mentioned this to me (she worked in the medical field in Shanghai) so I had brought a prescription from my doctor back in the States. Now I'm not a big meds user but when you have a baby, I'd prefer to have it as painless as possible (just my opinion). But that being said- most Chinese don't use anesthetics to have their babies- nothing like what we are used to in the States.
So with that being said, here are some of the funny things that have happened along this pregnancy journey that I don't want to forget:
*3 Words: SMALL CAR SPACES. That should be enough to say- it's incredibly difficult sometimes finding parking spaces here in general and worrying about not hitting the car next to you because the parking spaces are so TINY, but imagine having to get out with a big belly. It's a joke. And there are no saved parking spaces for "Mommies to Be". In fact, at my last appointment, I got the last parking spot and literally had to suck in (is that possible??) as I was getting out. And there was a guy walking by that stopped to stare in wonder as how I was possibly going to do this. Miraculously I made it out.
*NO FILTER. It's incredible sometimes what some people tell you- either in passing or those that you kinda know- but they just say what's on their mind. I had one guy exclaim and say "Oh your so big are you having twins" and this was 2 months ago- I don't even think I was that big then.
And a few weeks ago up at our country club, I had some Chinese man stop me and tell me to be careful walking along the pathway (it was wet). Yes, this was nice and all, and he continues to go into this story about how he always tells his pregnant daughter this, etc., Then he asks me if this is my first, and I reply, "no, it's my 3rd". Hmmmm, his reply was, "Oh gosh, no problem for you, the baby come right out" and as he says this he does his motion with his arms together then splitting. Full demonstration for me about how easily this baby is going to come out. It was creepy and hysterical at the same time. How do you reply to that?
I've also had my helper tell me that the helpers in our complex say that I look so good as a pregnant woman (well now they finally believe it- it took months after my growing belly for them to think I was pregnant- maybe they thought I had been drinking too much beer). They've told her I look so good from behind that you can't tell and that I'm still "sexy". This is funny to me because most women don't say that about other women, but Asians love that word and have no problem describing another woman as "sexy".
*My Massage Guy. And yes, I have found me the most fabulous massage guy. I found him right after Christmas at this spa in Central and trust me, if it didn't take me 45 minutes to get there, I'd probably go more often. He's fabulous though. I'll say I got my feet massaged once a week in Shanghai whilst pregnant with Henry but this guy is the best.
The first time I went in he starts poking on my legs and feeling around on them really weirdly and I'm thinking, oh gosh, what have I gotten myself into now. But by the time he was finished with the first leg, he pulled both of them up together and showed me the difference. Whatever he did, he had literally drained some of the water retention and redness out of my legs. Not to mention it felt amazing. I told Jason after my appointment that I was ready to move him into our house.
So the next time I saw him, he was so funny and cute he said, "Ah I think you look more beautiful than last time". All I could do was laugh. I know what he meant- he was trying to say I had the pregnancy glow, but that's how he interpreted it. I guess some would get upset- what I'm more beautiful today than before, but I know what he meant so that's what made it so cute. But then at this appointment he thought I only had a few weeks to go- and he was shocked when I told him I still had 3 months to go. Again- apparently my belly is huge comparative to Chinese standards!!?!
*Scaring the Locals. That's what Jason likes to say I do because I'm not the typical Chinese that sits at home and doesn't lift anything or takes it easy, I suppose. (and not that all Chinese do this) BUT they do have an entirely different take on how pregnant women should behave, the clothes they should wear and what activities to do and not do.
They do believe that you should cover yourself entirely because you don't want to be cold- even if it is hot and humid out! Do you know the looks I got in early April when I stepped out in a sun dress- most of the locals here were still in sweaters and jeans. Shame shame on me- oh wait, I was dying if I stepped out in the hot sun!
And they do believe that you shouldn't really do too much strenuous activity- especially working out. My bootcamp instructor was so funny because he actually asked one of his classes about me being in bootcamp and one of the Asians in the group said I shouldn't do anything. So you can imagine how I've frightened quite a few of the locals while I've been running in the park or treadmill or taking tennis lessons.
They also believe that pregnant women shouldn't drink cold drinks. Now they believe this in general really (as per why you don't find too many places that serve ice with their drinks) but they believe in a pregnant woman it can be too shocking to our system. So you can see how me walking around in a sun dress with a cold drink is very disappointing and terrible to most around me. Shame shame on me.
I've also enjoyed my first class treatment at some of my grocery stores I go too- after a year or so of visiting now all of a sudden I'm getting curbside service. I think they are terrified of me having a baby right there- although it doesn't help that I bend over in pain sometimes because of my braxton hicks contractions. Again- scaring the locals is what I like to do! :)
So these are some of the tidbits about having a baby overseas that I would like to remember. I'll definitely tell you that you have to have a sense of humor, you have to be trusting in God and you have to have a good support system. It's not always easy and there are a lot of frustrations along the way (as there are living abroad), but in the end, you get this precious baby and that's all it's about anyway. Women have babies everyday- in worse circumstances and environments around the world- I'd say overall it's been pretty surreal to step outside the box and undergo such an adventure.
Now...let's see how this next delivery goes...and then what I have to say about that... :)
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| And here's a picture of my buddy Wilson- my massage guy- isn't he cute!?! |
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